CHOOSE PEACE & PROMISES OVER PANIC

OK so how is everybody doing? Praying for all of you! Life has taken on a new normal…
For all of us humans anyway!

I have become a birdwatcher and I am loving it! They are loving me feeding them! But the blessing of their song makes all the money I spend on bird feed worth it! And they are not affected by this pandemic not one little bit!

So this post is a little bit about birds and a little bit about panic!
I’m going to be honest here. I was doing pretty good not panicking keeping my eyes fixed and focused on Jesus- praying. Encouraging others.

Then- the continuous notifications started coming from news channels that I subscribe to. Emails from almost every company on my email list hundreds of them! All using the dreaded “C” word! So I stopped all the notifications and started deleting, and not reading, the emails! I was doing pretty good UNTIL I got a horrific and I mean a really horrific email that someone asked me to print for them which I read, and I could feel the fear trying to get a grip on me. I began to pray and ask God to take authority over this atrocity and the horrible thoughts and feelings that I was having!

This is when I heard it! The most beautiful bird song! This bird was literally singing at the top of his little bird lungs! I have to tell you I was mesmerized by his Melodious song! He got my attention and as I listened I could hear other birds singing and making beautiful bird music in the forest… And I knew at that moment God was grabbing my attention and making a point! I heard Jesus saying …
“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; (nor run to the store to hoard toilet paper- lol) yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

Are you not more valuable than they? YES we are valuable to God! And He is Who He says He is – And He does what He says He will do! He gives us this day our daily bread! He says:
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32

He is so Many things to us!. Our Shepherd our Father our KING!

He has filled me with His peace right now! I could go on and on with His promises! I guess I just want my friends and family to know that you can have that peace too!. Ask and you shall receive knock and the door will be opened! So at such a time as this-if you feel fear setting in or gripped with panic take a walk outside – listen – and hear God say. “I Am still on the throne! He’s got this!

JOY

JOY is the word that has been resounding in my mind for the past two weeks! I heard the acronym somewhere Jesus first, Others second and You last. Everywhere I looked… there was the word- JOY! In scripture, on signs, written in Christmas cards, wall plagues and in great big letters that light up in Michaels craft store! After walking round and round the store I finally went back to the place where JOY sat and bought those big light up letters that spell JOY. I didn’t know it then but God was up to something!

My three oldest (already testosterone filled at 6, 8 & 12) grand boys were visiting and vying for first place in all that they found to do one morning before Christmas! They always have to establish the alpha in the pack when they first get together after not seeing each other for awhile. Eventually after demanding apologies they work things out but sometimes it’s more aggravation than I really care for! So as they were checking out the big JOY sign, of course all wanting to turn it on and off I sensed a teachable moment and I asked them if they knew the real meaning of Joy. Of course they all wanted to be the FIRST to answer and be the one with the RIGHT answer. After listening to their answers I shared mine with them. J for Jesus first, O for others second and Y for you last.

AHA, a moment of silence until one of them said and of course they all quickly agreed, “But Nonna, if you are saying Jesus is first, and Others are second wouldn’t that make me first, and pointing to the other two, them last because I am the “other”. That means I’m first and you are the other,” ‘no I’m the other and your last,’ ‘NO I am the other!” And on and on went the discussion with all of them insisting they were the “other.” And that made them first! I have to admit they had me confused until I convinced them that they were each the YOU. Haha

Joy in the journey is my most sincere prayer for 2016. I want the light of Jesus to shine through me when my light is faded and dim! The Words of my mouth to be the sweet aroma of His breath when mine trickle out of stinking thinking. I pray that my thoughts be His clear encouraging, kind and good thoughts when my own are dingy, full of cob webs and lacking the luster of love that He desires. Fill my thoughts with “love luster” Lord! Guide me Father down the path of Your choosing and not my own. Let me walk the journey of 2016 with the JOY unspeakable that only comes when we willingly put J-esus first, O-thers second and Y-ou (ME) last!

It was no accident that I was seeing JOY everywhere I went because I was given opportunity over and over again this holiday season to live it out and yes I failed miserably, often! You see I now realize there was a major missing ingredient in those trials. The “J.” The AWARENESS that Jesus was right there with me through the trial. That it was Him that needed to respond through me with His words, His thoughts and His work. I needed to step aside and allow Him to step up! I needed to whisper, “Okay Jesus this is all YOU not me, you have to do this!”

JOY is my word this year and Psalm 139:23-24 is my prayer:

“Search me , O God, and know my heart;                                                             Try me and know my anxious thoughts;                                                           And see if there be any hurtful way in me;                                                       And lead me in th everlasting way.”

It is only with an increased awareness of His presence with me EVERY STEP that I can truly experience true JOY! Needless to say, I am going to keep my JOY letters lit all year long as a reminder that true Joy comes from putting Jesus first, Others second and You (ME) last!

THE ONE RESOLUTION THAT TRUMPS ALL OTHERS!

THE ONE NEW YEARS RESOLUTION THAT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL THE REST!

New Years is typically a time for making resolutions- I’m not going to eat so much- drink so much- curse so much- yell at my kids so much- I’m going to be kinder, calmer and eat good food- get rid of the toxins and build my immune system- lower my cholesterol- eat less sugar- spend more time with family- spend less money and THIS YEAR I’m going to emulate that Proverbs 31 woman! If she can do it so can I!

There is just one teensy weensy problem. Most people will fail. According to Forbes 40% of Americans set New Years goals. The University of Scranton research suggests only 8% of people will keep those resolutions! We set resolutions & goals before ourselves. BIG HUGE MOUNTAINS of them that set us up for failure from day one! I know because I have tried to climb those mountains alone many times! If we dissect some of those things we’d like to change or get rid of in our lives I think we may be surprised that those things are actually idols… TV, alcohol, drugs, chocolate, food, etc. Mountains full of desires and things that we have replaced the God of the universe with. Time we could be spending with Him growing in a closer and more intimate relationship with Jesus.

God says in Isaiah 45:2-3, “I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and Cut-through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”

Those things that tower in front of us- the things we want to change in our lives are often mountainous. Mountains are not easy to climb even harder to level. Especially if you’re not in good shape. It takes some work on our part before we can be a seasoned mountain climber! It takes something much bigger than ourselves and just getting in shape!

AMAZING GOD! God says He goes before us and HE levels the mountains. How freeing is that? He will cut through the gates of bronze and bars of iron that imprison and defeat us year after year! And not only will He do that for us He will give us hidden treasures in place of those things we give to Him. Those treasures may come in the form of miracles or gifts or they may be a result of the refiners fire. Much heart ache, maybe even a bit of persecution. But know one thing- God does not lie and if He promises treasures and riches stored in secret places He will deliver. He knows us by name and He wants us to know Him and that He is Lord! Lord above all those difficult things that loom before us. He is telling us there is hidden treasure and basically that treasure is Him!

Jeremiah 29:11 is a well known, much recited verse, “For I know the plans I have for you” saith The Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” But the REAL TREASURE comes in the next few verses. Verses twelve through fourteen say, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity…

When we gaze into the face of the One who knows us by name and replace all our resolutions with just one. To know Him better- to walk with Him and talk with Him (as the old hymn goes) to spend our life pursuing Him, the chains will fall off and the mountains will crumble! And guess what? If they don’t crumble our God will lift us and carry us over them and show us that secret place!

OUT OF A BROKEN HEART, THE MOUTH SPEAKS

                                                Part 3 in Be Clean in 2014

A Clean Heart

Recently we all had a good laugh at my two year old granddaughter Emelia. Christina walked into our guest room where she and the boys were playing. The boys had just come from the movie, Legos, and this was one of those rare occasions when the boys were actually letting her play lego’s with them. The legos, much tinier than her large, girly pastel colored legos, were considered a choking hazard and were not something Emelia was accustomed to having within her grasp. As Christina poked her head in the door Emelia immediately sensed the outcome and assuming her most threatening, I’m in control voice, pointed at the legos and stated robustly, (for a two year old little girl) ME PLAY”, pointing to the door she said, “YOU OUT”. Past experience clearly defined the words of her sweet little mouth! She was feeling threatened and taking a stance!

Do you find that there are times you are astounded at the words that come out and spew all over someone you love, when you open your sweet little “Christian” mouth? You are not alone!

Mathew 12:33-37

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. “You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. “The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.
“For by your words you will be justified,
and by your words you will be condemned.”

James 1:26 ESV

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

We all have a past! Our past is riddled with all kinds of experiences good and bad. All of which are meant to give us a better grip on life! Experiences that God wants to take and weave into a beautiful testimony that will touch and bring hope and healing to others. Heart wounds are caused by addictions, emotional & physical abuse. Abandonment, rejection and verbal abuse can cause a huge crack in our hearts. Out of that crack will flow words that will either intentionally or unintentionally hurt others.

Brian Zahnd the founder and lead Pastor of “Word of Life Church” asks these questions in his book, “Unconditional”, “So what is your story? Who has been cruel to you? Perhaps bitterly cruel. What injustice have you suffered? How have you been mistreated? Perhaps miserably so. Who has cheated you? Abused you? Lied to you? Lied about you? Maybe it was last week. Maybe it was a lifetime ago.”

So often the pieces of our heart are held together by threads of un-forgiveness towards those who have hurt us, circumstances beyond our control and even anger toward God. Our broken hearts have not mended properly because consciously or sub-consciously we are still holding on to those hurts. Hurts we ourselves do not and will not ever have the power to heal. Sometimes we withhold our forgiveness because we actually think we can hurt the other person for hurting us.

Our mouth and what comes out of it is a barometer, if you will, of how healthy our heart is. If you find that you continually speak words that are opposing our “play by play” hand book, Gods Word, then I believe your heart needs His healing touch.
Lets look for a moment at some verses that help us to analyze if we have “heart trouble”.
Hebrews 12:15 ESV

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

Roots of bitterness buried in a hurting heart will make their way to the surface of your life if not cut off at the pass. It may be today, it may be tomorrow. Scripture tells us you cannot bury a root of bitterness caused by unforgiveness. It WILL surface someday. It will surface because God desires reconciliation! Yes we may have been used, abandoned and abused in the past but if it is a Spirit filled life of loving others and being loved that you want for yourself you have to cut your way out of those tangled roots. How? How do you stop the onslaught of ugly verbiage that seeps out covering those we should hold near and dear with sludge? How do we face the one we haven’t spoken to for decades? Forgiveness is the answer. Forgiveness… Accepting Jesus forgiveness of your sins is the first step. Forgiving those who have hurt you is the second!

Mathew 6:14-15

“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions”.

The key word in that scripture is “if”. Will you ask God to show you who it is that is holding you hostage to your past and not allowing you to step into a happy future. I will bet you already know without asking! Jesus loves you and wants to set you free.

It’s been said that to forgive is to set a prisoner free and then find out the prisoner was you!

The best reason of all to forgive is because God commands it! He knows the damage it does to us and the paralyzing hurt it causes those we love when the unforgiveness causes rejection and abandonment or the words of our mouths come from less than honorable hearts and rip and destroy those near and dear to us. The worse part of it all is that hurting people hurt people. So those we hurt will in turn hurt someone else and the dance goes on and on until Jesus cuts in!

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue
and those who love it will eat its fruit

Mathew Henry had this to say about that verse.

A man may do a great deal of good, or a great deal of hurt, both to others and to himself, according to the use he makes of his tongue. Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue, or the death of others by a false tongue; and, on the contrary, many a one has saved his own life, or procured the comfort of it, by a prudent gentle tongue, and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them. And, if by our words we must be justified or condemned, death and life are, no doubt, in the power of the tongue.

The real key to verses 19-21 lies in the preceding verse, Proverbs19:18

“A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle”.

Your rejection of another or your tongue could be setting up those around you for a life of destruction for which you will one day be held accountable for.

Mathew 12:36 says, “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.”

Forgiving someone does not mean they are or were right or justified in their words or actions. It means that you have made a choice. A very noble and a very wise choice to admit your hurt to God and tell Him you choose to forgive. You no longer want to be held captive to your past. It takes a lot of courage and guts to face this truth but you can do it! You can do all things through Him who gives you strength! Sit with God and tell Him how that person hurt you and how it made you feel. Tell Him that you choose to forgive him/her. Then walk out that forgiveness.

You may or may not share what you have done with that other person. Do what God leads you to do. It is very freeing for you to tell that person “you really hurt me but you know I just want you to know I forgive you”. Or to go to another and say, “You know I really hurt you by saying so many awful things. Will you forgive me?” Please remember- No Buts! No details! Short and sweet! Dont allow those roots to re-tangle. You are sincerely just being obedient to Christ! He will in turn be faithful to bring healing!

Another thing is crucial. When the enemy comes with his negative, lying thoughts (and he will whisper sweet nothings in your ear to get you riled up) stand firm in the decision you made, NO MATTER WHAT! Tell him, “I have been forgiven and I have forgiven”! There will then be “fruit” of that forgiveness somewhere, somehow!

Forgiving does not mean forgetting. So many respond when I share this, “How can I forgive when I can never forget?” You are choosing to walk in God’s truth by forgiving. Leave the forgetting up to Him! To intentionally hold back your forgiveness of another person is to directly oppose God’s Word!

Mark Twain said, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

Jesus wants to take the broken threads of your heart and weave them into a beautiful testimony of what His love can do. A testimony of freedom, and a heart that overflows with life. Like the crushed violet, allow Him to make you a fragrant offering to God and to those around you!

Mathew 12:33-37

33“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. 34“You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. 35“The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. 36“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. 37“For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Do You Feel Like A Donkey in A Pit?

In the fitness industry there is a very common saying that’s used to encourage those who are experiencing misery after a workout.  When your legs feel like-rubber-bands and your maximus gluteus screams when you try sitting after a buns of steel class, it’s with little sympathy our instructor will perkily declare “No pain no gain”… and while we would all like our pain to grow wings and take flight whether after boot camp, a fab Abs class, or blow to our emotional well being. That pain never just flies away!   It takes pain and suffering to have buns of steal or six pack abs!  It takes patience, time and dedication. Muscle fibers must be torn down and experience  little microscopic tares which your body then repairs building stronger muscles.  Physical pain that causes us to become stronger physically  can be compared to the emotional pain we experience.   it is through those trying times of adversity that God, like our bodies, builds us up, growing us stronger and firmer in our faith!

Emotional pain can be inflicted on us by others, from circumstances beyond our control, stress from a job situation, death of a loved one,  cruel words or abusive treatment, etc.  Sometimes the “others” are those we love and care about.  There is little if any pain if a stranger abuses you verbally.  While we don’t like it and hope to avoid it in the future, It hurts a whole lot less than being verbally abused by someone you love and whose relationship you value.  While we can’t always control the pain that “comes knocking the wind out of our sails” we can remember the principle of “no pain, no gain”.

Long ago I heard this parable about a donkey and a farmer.  It always helps to recall the story when life gets painfully tough!

One day, a donkey fell into a pit. The animal cried and whined for hours while his owner tried to figure out what to do. Finally, the farmer decided that since the animal was old, and the pit needed to be covered up anyway, he’d just bury the old donkey right there. He got a shovel and started filling in the pit. The donkey kept up its wailing, but then fell silent. After an hour of furious shoveling, the farmer paused to rest. To his amazement, he saw his old donkey jump out of the pit and trot away!

At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried even more piteously. But then the wise animal hit on a plan. As each spadeful of dirt hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the growing mound of earth. Eventually, the mound grew high enough for him to jump out of the pit.

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. At times you may feel you are being buried alive! Rest assured that God will not waste one shovel full of that dirt! Only you can choose to waste it! We can get out of the deepest of pits by stopping the whining and crying and looking for God in the suffering and pain of adversity.   Know that Jesus’ hand is always reaching down for you as you make your way out of the pit.  Sometimes His hand may be in the form of a friend, counselor or coach but it is always there and you will come out of the pit.

God tells us in His Word that no weapon formed against us shall prosper.  His exact words in Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV) says it very clearly…

No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

As we seek to grow in the light of His presence… change will come!  Ask yourself and God some tough questions, like could I have handled things differently?  Is there something I need to learn?  What is the lesson in this for me?  Do I need to learn to love more, forgive more, laugh more, judge less?  Am I, have I reacted to my circumstances or reflected my Lord?  And harder still, “Am I a true servant of Christ?”  We need to be bold in our assessment of our situation… Yes sometimes circumstances are beyond our control, however, very often God is shining His Holy flashlight on areas of our life that need a little attention, a little refiners fire!

David wrote in Psalm 40:1-4…

I waited patiently for the LORD;  And He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,

 And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;

Many will see and fear, And will trust in the LORD.

How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust..

Some of the wisest people I know have lived through horrific circumstances and yet many of them will tell you today, “If I could go back in time and do that part of my life all over, I wouldn’t change a thing”  Why?  Because it was that very pain that sharpened their character and made them the loving caring compassionate person that they are today!  It was that very pain that taught them how to love God and others, to forgive and grow more like Jesus!

 We can stand at the cross road and choose to wallow in the muck when hit with a shovel of dirt or like my friend the donkey… we can choose to step up and shake it off not allowing the pain or our past to define our present and future.  We can choose to not let the past steal our joy and affect our relationships but to look at those areas in our lives that have caused hurt and ask ourselves the tough questions.   Remember it took some work on the donkeys part to get out of the pit.  He had to keep stepping up.  It takes some pain to have buns of steal or six pack abs.  And it will take some patience, endurance, and perseverance from you.  Jesus will pull you out of the pit but it starts with a choice!  Step up and shake the past off and move forward towards a better future!

Big MIKE… little mike!

Father forgive them for they know not what they do!

Some of Jesus last words as he hung on the cross.Truer words have not been spoken!  Jesus fulfilled His destiny.  We too are destined by God to fullfill our purpose if we believe! God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us.

Sitting at a Seder table, celebrating the Passover on Holy Thursday a couple and their little boy sat down across from us.  My friend said to the little boy, “Whats your name?”  “Mike” he said. As we introduced ourselves to the couple, they in turn introduced their selves as Amanda and Mike.  Oh, Judy said, your “big Mike”.  Quickly and loudly so everyone would hear, the little guy proudly piped up and said, “And I’m LITTLE MIKE!”  I sensed that had his name been Charlie or John he wouldn’t have been quite so proud.  But he had been called by his fathers name.  Mike.  It was evident that he was elated to have the same name as his daddy.  Throughout the meal he would listen to the Seder readings and instructions and then turn to watch “Big Mike”.  When “Big Mike” broke his matzoh so did little Mike. When Big MIke dipped his parsley in salt water to represent the tears shed by the Hebrews during slavery, so did little Mike.

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NASB) says,

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Nothing we did!  Nothing we do will ever deserve what God did for us!  It was all grace!  It was all mercy!  Just as His birthday was a gift to us, likewise His dying and resurrection was an even greater gift of grace.  Through the death and resurrection of Jesus we are given a living hope and, if we admit we are sinners – believe – and commit to trust Him with out lives, doing life His way, not in our own ability but in the power He has given us, we are given ETERNAL life.

1 Thessalonians 5:4-11

…for you are all sons of light and sons (and daughters!) of day. We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night, and those who get drunk get drunk at night. But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

Searching the web I found hundreds of video’s of babies and children caught on camera imitating their daddies sneeze, smile, mannerisms and yes unfortunately even curse words!  Just like little Mike children grow up to be imitators of their parents!  While this tells us that we need to be careful what little eyes hear and see, it is also a great example of how we too should imitate our Heavenly Father!

Like little Mike, we are called by our Fathers name!  We are Christ followers!  We have inherited His Spirit!  Are we watching closely to see what our Heavenly Daddy does?

He tells us, to those who believe He has given us power- incomparably great power, power that is like the working of His mighty strength!  The same power that raised Christ from the dead!  (Ephesians 1:19)

He has given us the power in Christ to say of those who have transgressed against us… who played a part in the drama of our life, who have despised, abandoned and rejected us… lied and caused us pain, tears, and anguish, “I forgive them for they know not what they do.”  Just as He, Jesus, said of those who crucified Him, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  Amazing!  Maybe its time we get out of the boat!  Maybe its time we do what seems like the impossible and be imitators of our Heavenly Father!

Holy Valentines Day

Valentines Day! While meant to be a day we steep ourselves in warm fuzzy feelings of romance and chocolate covered strawberries for many it is a reminder of failed relationships, miserable marriages and lost love. For some who long to know the “secret” to love – it is a painful day. But for others it is a day to rejoice and melt in the arms of the lover of their youth. What is the secret?

Perhaps our gross dissappointment when it comes to love stems from our ill perceived definition of what love is. Experts tell us that those warm fuzzy feelings that the world expresses as “love” last at most a brief three years! What then? What happens when we no longer “feel” in love with that person we had once entered into the covenant of marriage with. It seems love is something we are forever grasping for and never seem to get a good grip on. It is forever alluding us. Tickling our fancy only to dissapear in a moments time. Are we then destined to live miserably trying tirelessly to get back those lost “feelings?” Why when loving one another is commanded by God does it seem sometimes as if we are climbing Mount Everest with a 500 pound back pack strapped to us?

God says…
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1John 4:7-8
Could it be that there is a higher purpose behind this idea, this thought, this command that we must love one another? Could it be that God’s plan and purpose, His design for marriage is to make us Holy rather than make us happy? And it really is more about commitment than it is warm fuzzy feelings.
This writing on “Love” by Kahlil Gibran gives us a hint.
When love beckons to you follow him, though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.

Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.  He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, into the season-less world where you shall laugh,

but not all of your laughter,

and weep,

but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.” (emphasis mine)

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, it directs your course.  Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Yes love will seem at times to crucify us, prune us, shake our roots, grind us and sift us.  Love is definitely not for wimps!  Love then assigns us to his sacred fire, that we may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.  How are we EVER to understand that?  Difficult I know.  But I must trust.  I must believe that the Almighty Living God, Creator of me and the universe knows best! I must resolve myself to the fact that I won’t always understand.

God tells us His ways are higher than our ways in Isaiah 55:8-11 (Msg)

“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
“For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.
Think about that for a moment! In practical terms, what if while in the midst of each conflict, and yes we know we all have them! Instead of jumping in and trying to find the way and words we would need to use to prove “our side” to get across how “right” we are, we instead consciously thought, Lord I choose YOUR way in this. I choose the Higher way. Sanctify my mind and heart and let me respond in a way that is pleasing to you.
Consciously is the key word here. Of course as women we all know that we are rarely “wrong”. Right or wrong is not what’s open for discussion. It is the “how” and “why” that’s at question! The issue is really not as important in God’s eyes as how we respond. Can we love even in the center of an unlovable heated discussion? Can we respect our spouse even when we feel unloved and disrespected? Can we trust God to take care of His daughter enough that He will let our husband know in His own way just how wrong he is?

So what is the “secret” to loving? It is commitment… It is choosing to love consciously and unconditionally… It is allowing God to love through us when we don’t “feel” like loving! It is giving up our “right” to be right. It is taking the Higher road! It is putting Christ at the head of our relationships.
Psalm 127 unmistakably shows us His heart…
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.
It is in vain for you to rise up early, to retire late,
To eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep!

Lord help us to let YOU be God in every area of our lives!

If a couple is committed to putting God first in all areas of their relationship, to knowing and putting into practice His love letter (the Bible) to them, there is no storm that can’t be withstood. Listen to this passage from Matthew 7:24-25 NASB:
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock, “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.

If you are someone who dreads this day, God wants you to know that HE LOVES YOU! He wants to be your Valentine! He wants to be in your marriage with you and as we choose to serve Him in our marriage, He promises it may greatly change our view of what Valentines Day is meant to be!

.

Haunted by old loves… BE FREE Part 2

In my last blog I talked about the huge old oak tree that had been cut down just below the surface of the soil so that we could allow more sun to shine in our back yard and plant a beautiful garden.  Because the roots of that big old tree had never been dug up it sends tiny new saplings springing up and for the past five years we’ve cut them down.  This year I had a vision of big red juicy jersey tomatoes picked warm and sliced up for scrumptious tomato sandwiches and so I chose to plant a tomato garden where the old oak tree once stood. However, even though you could not see the roots of that big old tree they were still there under the surface of the soil and once again sent up little saplings reaching for the sun in the middle of my healthy and strong tomato plants.  The soil was rich with nutrients because I was sure to add top soil and fertilizer before planting and my Jersey tomato plants to assure they were strong and healthy.  But it would not be long before those saplings took over and began to drain the water and nutrients from the soil and steal the much needed sun from the now struggling tomato and basil plants.  The saplings and roots had to go!

This is a clear picture of what can happen in a marriage.  A marriage appears to have everything it needs in the beginning to be healthy and strong.  We are attentive and loving towards one another, serving one another and spending time together.  Often putting our spouses needs first as we want to put our best foot forward!  The marriage is new and appears healthy but if there have been previous sexually intimate relationships it is not long before the newness of the relationship wears off and the enemy finds a loop hole.  Our guard is down and those old roots in the form of past relationships can begin to steal the nutrients and sun from our marriage. Saplings spring up causing contention.

Its been said that fear is the dark room where negative thoughts are developed!  We might begin to hear lies like, “Henry would have never forgot my birthday”  or “If I’d married Sam I would have a new car and a nicer home”  and on and on and on.  We may find ourselves day dreaming of what our life would have been like if we’d married Tom who has no health problems, financial problems or family problems. We may hear a lie that says “I should have NEVER married HIM”  or “If I were single I wouldn’t have to be cleaning up dog crap because I wouldn’t have a dog” and on and on and on.  Little lies that will eventually turn into huge trees in the midst of our beautiful garden of marriage!

Dr Amen calls these ANTS.  Automatic negative thoughts and we must learn to step on them and smash them as fast as they enter our minds.  ANTS must be dealt with but that is a future blog!  For now I want to focus on why the enemy can use some of these thoughts to wreck havoc with our marriage.

There may be contention because of the fact that we have bonded and “become one flesh” in a past relationship.  We have not given 100% of ourselves to our spouse because we had already given so much of our self to someone else or in some cases multiple partners. Because scripture classifies every other sin as being outside of the body, sexual sins are in a category by themselves.  The old roots have to go!  Some marriage problems occur because the bonds have never been spiritually and consciously broken.  Our marriages can be free from the haunts of past intimate relationships and made fresh and new!

1 Corinthians 6:15-20 (NASB) is one of the key passages that helps us understand and know an important core truth in regards to pre-marital sexual relationships in which “two have become one flesh” hence sexual bondage occurs. Relationships regarded biblically as sin and which can become saplings and later oak trees that stand in the way of a vibrant and healthy marriage the way God intended it to be!

¹⁵  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! ¹⁶ Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” ¹⁷ But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. ¹⁸  Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the^[a]immoral man sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is a^[b]temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from ^[c]God, and that you are not your own? ²⁰ For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

It just makes sense that if you did something to “become one flesh” you must do something to break that bond.  Yes you can break off a relationship physically and never see that person again but they still have a part of you until you take it back and break that bond spiritually! 

God makes it clear it is our responsibility to not let sin reign in our mortal body and not to obey its lusts.  (see Rom. 6:12)  What must we do and not do in reference to the use of our bodies?  Please read verse 13.

“Do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God”.

We can see through this scripture that there simply isn’t any way you can commit a sexual sin and not use your body as an instrument of unrighteousness.  According to scripture, if or when you do, you are allowing sin to reign in your mortal body.

Dr Neill Anderson, published author and Christian psychologist says, “confession alone will not resolve this”.

In some cases you may not be married.  There are very important steps to take to set you free to one day give not just your hand in marriage physically but your entire self, spiritually, mentally and emotionally, to the one you love!

I wish I could take credit for the following but I most definitely can’t.  The following information is taken from Dr. Neill Andersons book, Discipleship Counseling.  In his book he outlines a plan to get rid of any saplings or in some cases oak trees that have grown between us and our spouse and are the result of sexual sin. (my analogy)

I (Neill Anderson) have learned that helping others accomplish complete repentance requires them to pray and ask the Lord to reveal every sexual use of their bodies as instruments of unrighteousness.  As the Lord brings each one to mind, renounce every sexual use of your body as an instrument of unrighteousness and ask God to break the sexual and emotional bond with those people.  Conclude by presenting your body to the Lord as a living sacrifice.  We are urged by the mercies of God to do that.

Romans 12:1-2 (NASB)

12 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, ^[a]acceptable to God, which is your ^[b]spiritual service of worship. ² And do not be conformed to this ^[c]world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may ^[d] prove what the will of God is, that which is good and ^[e]acceptable and perfect.

SEXUAL BONDING

Bonding takes place when un-holy sex is committed.  The person has become one flesh with his or her partner.  Tragically, that is true even in the case of incest or rape.  The body is used as an instrument of unrighteousness.  The temple is violated.  This can be resolved in Christ so that you do not have to stay in bondage.

We are warned to flee from any form of immorality because it is a self-destructive sin that we commit against our own bodies.  God and satan both know our weakness to sexual passions.  Satan plays on this weakness, but God provides a way of escape.  In truth, we have already died to sin, and our lives are hidden in Christ (see Col. 3:3).  But it is necessary to affirm the truth that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and that in Christ we are free from the bondage of sin.

BREAKING THE SEXUAL BONDAGE

Many married couples have been involved in premarital sex, either with each other or other partners, and that has robbed them of the joy of their relationship in marriage until the past experiences have been renounced.  Problems in their marriage were resolved after dealing spiritually with past situations by going through the Steps to Freedom.  This further illustrates how the spiritual dimension of our problems affects the whole person: the body, the soul and the spirit.

DEAL WITH SPECIFIC ISSUES

Lord, I ask you to bring to my mind every sexual use of my body as an instrument of unrighteousness, so that, in Christ, I can renounce these sexual sins and break their bondage.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

As the Lord brings to your mind every sexual use of your body, whether it was done to you, (as in the case of rape, incest, or sexual molestation) or willingly by you, renounce every occasion by praying this prayer:

Lord, I renounce [Name the specific use of your body] with [name any other person involved]. I ask you to break that emotional and sexual bond with [name].

Pray that prayer for each person and/or activity as God brings it to mind.

For example, “Lord I renounce having sex with George and ask You to break that sexual and emotional bond”.  Or, “Lord I renounce the molestation by my Uncle and ask You to break that bond”.  If you can’t remember names you can just say, “the guy in the bar” or even, “that girl whose face I see in my mind”.  Whatever would identify the experience.  It is not a matter of admitting something to God that He is not already aware of but of bringing into the light something performed in secret in order to break the bondage.

The types of unrighteous sexual uses of the body that should be renounced include the following:

• Premarital Sexual Activity
• Extramarital Affairs
• Homosexual Behavior
• Pornography (magazines, books, movies, videos)
• Sexual Perversions and compulsive behavior (masturbation, sexual fantasies, inordinate sexual appetite, anal or oral sex, use of devices)
• Prostitution (heterosexual or homosexual)
• Sexual Perversions
• Abortion
• Rape
• Pedophilia
• Child sexual abuse or incest (molestation)

Sexual spirits (this would include any kind of sexual experience          you’ve had at night that seemed to be with another personality, but no physical presence was observed; this can be very frightening and degrading.)

Remember detail is not necessary…

If satan brings graphic detail and tries to cause you to relive the experience, pray this sample renunciation prayer:

I renounce the influences of satan and sexual spirits that would cause me to want to relive and exploit my past sexual experiences.  I announce the truth that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that you, Lord, want my entire mind and body to be clean.  I again commit myself to You for the renewing of my mind.

Another appropriate prayer to renounce lies one may believe:

I renounce all of the ways that satan has perverted my attitude toward sex as a result of my past involvement.  I specifically renounce [pornography, masturbation, oral sex, other forms of perverted sex, homosexuality, etc.]

A PRAYER OF COMMITENT AND AFFIRMATION

When you have finished dealing with specific sexual issues from the past, pray the following prayer:

Lord,

I renounce all these uses of my body as an instrument of unrighteousness, and I admit to any willful participation.  I choose to present my eyes, mouth, mind, heart, hands, feet and sexual organs to You as instruments of righteousness.  I present my whole body to You as a living sacrifice, Holy and acceptable.  I choose to reserve the sexual use of my body for marriage only.

I reject the devil’s lie that my body is not clean or that it is dirty or in any way unacceptable to You as a result of my past sexual experiences.  Lord, I thank You that You have totally cleansed and forgiven me and that You love and accept me just the way that I am.  Therefore, I choose to do so, to accept myself and my body as clean in Your eyes.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Bless you as you walk a new path of FREEDOM in your marriage!

NEW EASTER OUTFIT FROM GOD…with LOVE

Amazing that God the Father of the universe, the One who spoke the sun, moon and stars into existence, the creator of the mountains rivers, streams and oceans, the inspiration for all living creatures, Author of the Word of truth, the giver of the breath of life…CHOSE YOU! He chose YOU… and even more unbelievably He chose me!

Today as I think about the cross and His intense love for us I am humbled to tears!  I am so unworthy of anyone loving me so much, let alone dying for me.  So underserving.  Yet while we were still wearing the garments of sin, He chose the nails and He chose us!

Colossians 3:12 tells me that not only did He choose you and me but it calls us holy and dearly loved.  Hard to believe isn’t it?  That we can be called holy and dearly loved by the Master of the Universe that knows every breath we take and every word we utter?

Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, He tells us.  Then in His tender loving way in verse 13 He tells us why.  Because we are a difficult people to live with. We are not always dressed to the nines!  We sometimes forget, “Whose we are” and “Who it was that CHOSE us.  Our clothes are tattered and torn.  We wear the cloak of pride and selfishness.  The soles of our “shoes of peace” are worn, our toes threaten to break through at any moment and claim their independence.  We forget we wear the helmet of salvation and our breast plate is cracked.  The belt of truth is much too loose and our Sword of the Spirit should be as sharp as our tongue!  Our new clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience are dirty and need to be cleaned and pressed.

Yes we can be a difficult people. We forget that GOD is the One who has chosen our circle of family and friends.  He is in control of the old man driving 10 miles an hour in front of us when we are late for our appointment!  He who is in control of the earth turning and tides ebb and flow, places each and every person in our lives just where He wants them… and yes we can be difficult to do life with.  I know this because why else would Paul write for us to “bear with one another” and forgive one another whatever grievances you may have against one another..  Forgive as the Lord forgave you and me! “  He knew how hard it would be to voice those two little words “I’m sorry”-  to put aside our pride and answer, “it’s okay.  I forgive you”. To bear with one another!  To “bury the hatchet”.  Yes bury the hatchet and quiet the tongue.  Recently someone said those two little words with the BIG impact to me.  And out it wanted to come, chop, chop, chop!  Our sinful nature wants to just keep chop chop chopping at those we’ve hurt and those who have hurt us.  But Christ put to death our sinful nature on the cross, now we are to pick up our little crosses, put on our new clothes and follow HIM! 

Christ tells us to forgive as the Lord forgave us.  To take our dirty laundry to the Laundromat of the cross .  On Good Friday, the day we remember what He did for us, I encourage you to think about who you may need to simply say “I’m sorry to… Who may have said it to you  and you chopped with the hatchet of your tongue.  Put on the Easter outfit Christ bought for you today!  Let us clean and wash our tongues and dirty clothes in the blood of Jesus;

Forgive as He forgave us… And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in PERFECT UNITY and let the PEACE of Christ rule in your hearts…  Colossians 3:12-15  Remember, He chose the nails and He chose YOU!

Colossians 3:12-15

(NIV)

 ¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 ¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.